16) The Green Room - Ormskirk. It's Over, The End

Well chums, it's the end of The Scone Ranger.  It's been great while it lasted, but last night something happened which means this is likely to be my final entry.  I feel like Captain Scott writing in his diary at the end of the ill-fated trip to the South Pole.

It's the Tuesday after Easter.  Mrs R bought me a Cadbury's Mini-Egg for Easter. On Sunday  night I ate the mini-eggs. Last night (Monday) I thought I'd eat the egg.  But I could not find it, I searched the entire house with no joy.  But then I found that Mrs R had put it back in its box in the dining room.  So I took it out and devoured it.   Fab.  Just as I was about to throw away the box I realised it felt a bit heavy.  It did not take long to figure that there was another small bag of mini-eggs in the bottom of the box.  Huzzah!  A bonus pack. What an unexpected surprise.  I opened the pack and ate a couple of mini eggs and then it hit me.  This was not my Easter Egg. I was eating someone else's egg.  It was an egg bought by Mrs R for someone else, probably a child because it was mini-eggs.  That's when the hyper-ventilating started.  Followed by the panic attack.  I was in trouble.  Mrs R would be very unhappy with me.  Worse.

What could I do?  Should I immediately tell Mrs R what I had done, and be completely honest.    No, I did what most men would have done in my position.  The first thing I did was dispose of the evidence - I ate the rest of the mini-eggs.  Then the plan,  I could blame it on Trento.  That would be good.  Or I could say we had been broken into and whoever it was had stolen just the Mini Egg box.   Then I hit on another plan.  I would scour the shops of West Lancs looking for a replacement egg.   Well I did that today, and could not find a single egg.  I bought a packet of mini-eggs but on its own that would not be enough.  Mrs R is a fair woman, but she will not be happy with me.  I'd eaten a child's Easter egg and cannot get a replacement.  Someone was going to be disappointed. But someone closer to home was going to be up the creek without a chocolate paddle.  I've truly chocolate dropped myself in it.

There's nothing I can do except go for one final cake and cup of tea.   A sort of hearty breakfast for a condemned man.   At the very least I am going to be grounded.  I have chosen as the destination for my final trip The Green Room in Ormskirk, with my friend Miss Victoria.  The Green Room has been open a couple of years. It sells coffee and the like during the day, but is more of a bar during the night.  The choice of cakes was poor and not home made.   I had a Millionaire Shortbread (£1.80) and a pot of tea (2.5 cups)  Total price - £3.35.  With a matching teapot, cup and saucer. There were newspapers inside to read  but we sat outside in the sun as we had Trento with us.  It was pleasant.

Well, that's it my last entry as The Scone Ranger.  Thank you for your messages of support, you have been wonderful.  Especially all you readers in Mother Russia.

The Green Room

39 Moor Street
Ormskirk
L39 2AA