I feel I can call you that now, as we are getting on so well (thanks for all your messages of support) I feel a degree of intimacy is deserved. Oh, and to all my American readers, howdy - I am grateful for your support. You must be reading these pages with envy considering your cakes. If at any point I refer to our "Special Relationship," don't worry you may not be aware of it but it's all above board.
Chums, I went to Cafe West because I heard reports of reasonably priced tea and cake. After my trip to the Boatman's Brasserie I have to be more careful, Mrs R has been threatening to ground me. All because I splashed the cash she claims that Scone Junior had to live for a week in school on nothing but cheese triangles that had become stuck frozen to the back of the fridge. I have form in this area. The coffee cake was fair although not home-baked. The tea was good. The place was very comfortable but had nothing to read. However, it was a mere £1.95. Woohoo. The sun came out and shone brightly. A fair deal I say and it is open to all. But I am suspicious. It's clearly too good for students. I must try the training restaurant. There's also a hairdressers and a theatre and apparently some people even attend in order to get an education here.Now a number of you have asked, how did it come to this? How did I a successful Hollywood star like myself end up writing about West Lancashire. You are all aware of my glittering film career where I rode into town, arrested the bad guy, restored law and order and made the girls fall in love with me before leaving town shouting, "Hi Ho Silver Lining." Well, westerns became less popular, roles became harder to come by and I was typecast. It's not easy to appear in a war/musical/science fiction/romcom/anything while wearing a mask and a large white hat, riding a white horse and with a native american clinging on to me. (I feel that I can share this with you now as we have established a rapport - but all that "Kemo Sabe" bit was a bit creepy; I just did n't get it).
Of course these days all I would have to do is to admit to a strange sexual appetite/practice and I would be offered my own series on Channel 4. And if I'd indulge in it on air I'd be presenting the news on Channel 5. There would be a book deal each Christmas, a DVD and Loose Women would get their hands on me. (Or is that just me day-dreaming/having a nightmare - have you seen them!). I would certainly be offered a reality television show or two, and at the very least one series of, "Dancing on Ice or Strictly". (Although slightly difficult with Silver in tow - but Anton du Beke managed with Ann Widdecombe so anything is possible). I'd have to avoid "Cowboy Builders," otherwise I'd be typecast again.
I don't mind saying things got a bit tough for a while. But more about that another time when I can be sure my confidences will not go any further.
No trains go anywhere near West Lancashire College (the train line was closed in the early sixties), the buses 311, 375, 385 and 3 go to the Concourse which is not far away. Skelmersdale surprised me, and there are some pleasant walking paths around town.
Cafe West
West Lancashire College
Skelmersdale Campus
College Way
Skelmersdale
WN8 6DX
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